At tonight's gala discussing the Mutant Registration bill, there was an assassination attempt on the life of Greek Diplomat Hugo Natchios! Close sources say that Ninjas were involved, and how is Senator Robert Kelley connected?

According to sources close to me, a super-powered Neo Nazi spy was spotted in a warehouse here in New York! She was considered armed and dangerous, but luckily the building was bombed in an air strike. The powered Nazi woman appears to have been killed in the operation.

Students at ESU claim to have seen ghosts on campus. While this is usually dismissed as superstition, some say the Silver Specter resembles former student Tonda Dibny, accompanied by Shawnice Jackson. Jackson was killed at the Stark Expo, and Dibny has been missing ever since. Given the mystery behind the loss of the two girls, perhaps there's more to this ghost story than meets the eye!

Some fishermen returned to port in a state of delirium, shouting about space ships falling from the sky and giant men in the water. My sources can't confirm any useful details, but if there is a giant man attacking a spaceship in the Atlantic, this reporter will be the first to know!

As long time readers know, I've been covering the Rigoletto crime family for years. And it seems a new player has entered the fray. Dennis Carradine, and 'Smitty', two of Rigoletto's top pushers, have been found deceased at some pretty gnarly crime scenes. Due to there being no witnesses left, criminals have taken to calling this vigilante The Silencer.

Stock broker Landon Lance finds himself in a swirl of controversy, as new details from his past come to light. Sources inform me that Lance impregnated a woman years ago, and attempted to pay her a mere $5000 in hush money. When that didn't work, he had the woman framed and sent to prison, where she died. Lance could not be reached for comment.

Amidst his campaign for Mayor, Senator Kelly has encountered several accusations that give voters pause. Not only is there an investigation into his involvement with the attempted murder of Hugo Natchios, but my sources tell me he is involved in a drug racket with Landon Lance! More as the story develops.

Girls seem to be swooning over a pretty boy who has been seen, quote, "bringing the thunder". Who is this man that has fists of lightning? Why doesn't he wear a shirt? Is he really as sexy as he thinks he is? Please call the Daily Bugle tip line to report any sightings of this "Thunderclaw", and I will get to the bottom of this!

There has been a surge in unemployment with young workers seeking jobs. Many have taken to merely walking off the job, no two-week notice. Employers blame these unprofessional tactics on lazy and ungrateful young adults, but is it the employers, or the employees who are in the right?