My, what has become of toys these days? Cracker Jacks used to come with little prizes and knick knacks, and now you just get not-so-fun “fun facts”.  Large, elaborate playsets are now cheaply painted hunks of plastic. But I’m limiting my scope to these three web shooters I pulled out of cereal boxes over time, from the Spider-Man (2002), Spider-Man 2 (2004), and Spider-Man Homecoming (2017) eras.

So I was at the store the other day, and I see Cinnamon Toast Crunch has a Spider-Man ‘web’ shooter, that squirts water. Like a sucker, I bought two boxes (because Spider-Man has two web shooters, I’m sort of OCD like that). So I get home, I open the box, and…

Well, let me get to that. I want to start with the good stuff. So, the first Raimi Spider-Man movie, this is what all the kids were getting in their cereal boxes.

It’s a great design, fits right on the wrist, and when you do the web signal, the water comes out in spades! I love these things, I actually feel like Spider-Man when I’m wearing them!

Next up we’ve got Spider-Man 2. Now this doesn’t shoot webs, but if you turn out the lights, it shines an awesome Spider Light on the wall! Which, actually, Peter has in the new movie, so… missed opportunity there. But this is even better because it’s got an adjustable strap! As you can see, I kind of wore it down, but I was a kid, and it was fun to shine the light. Hours of entertainment!

Then there’s these. Let me continue my story: So I get home, I open the box, and… out come these soulless machinations of man! First of all, I figured out that there’s six different kinds, which sucked since I was trying to get a matching pair. Next, the little squirter holds about ¼ of the water the Spider-Man 1 ones did, barely getting off 1.5 squirts (And they have the nerve to put target practice markers on the back of the box!) And lastly, they go on backwards, which is not only counter-intuitive, but it takes away the thrill of actually 'spinning a web', and you have to press it with your other hand for water to come out! I will admit, however, they do look cool.

So, if anything, I just feel sorry for the kids of today, since this is all they get to play with. I hope they find some joy in them, but in my opinion, these big cereal companies need more ingenuity, and less lazy designs! I write this out of love! For Spider-Man, and for the children!