No disrespect to Tobey, I grew up with those Sam Raimi films. In fact, the first Spider-Man movie is the reason I love Marvel today, the reason Face Front exists! But I have to say I agree with the common consensus: Tobey is a great Peter Parker and a love letter to the Stan and Steve era of comics. Andrew was a great Spider-Man and more in line with the Ultimate comics. Tom Holland, however, is an excellent balance of both Peter Parker and Spider-Man, merging the best of the 616 and 1610 universes. But the problem I often come across is people believing that since Tobey is their favorite, Tom's version of Spider-Man doesn't count. Or, as some put it, "Not my Spider-Man".
I’ve been quiet on this matter for a while, but I think I finally have to address the hate Tom’s Spidey gets. I feel it’s completely baseless and unwarranted. People who complain usually flock to the same argument; they say he’s the ‘Iron-Boy’ and doesn’t do anything independently for himself. That Tony holds his hand and it takes away from him being Spider-Man. Well news flash: Tony’s dead. And whoever still holds this mindset clearly wasn’t paying attention to Spider-Man: Far From Home.
Let me pitch this at you: You’re a 10-year-old science nerd, and everyone makes fun of you for it. You don’t fit in with the other kids, and it gets kind of lonely. To cheer you up, your Uncle Ben tells you about Tony Stark, the most successful man on the planet, because he’s a science nerd, like you. Then, in 2008, that rich and successful science nerd you looked up to as your idol becomes a superhero. So wouldn't your first instinct if you suddenly became a superhero as well be to become the man you've idolized for years? Hence the line in Spider-Man: Homecoming "I just wanted to be like you."
Were any of the Tom-haters actually watching the Tobey Maguire movies? Remember when Peter introduced himself to Norman Osborn? He spoke admiringly of his research in the now heavily parodied “Something of a scientist myself” scene. So imagine if Norman hadn’t become the Green Goblin, but figured out Peter was Spider-Man. Don’t you think we’d have the same situation on our hands? Norman using Oscorp resources to help Peter be the best Spider-Man he can be? If Norman was good guy, then Spider-Man probably would have ended up looking more like this:
What about Spider-Man 2? Peter stated that Octavius was an idol of his, a scientific genius he looked up to. So let’s say Otto didn’t become Doc Ock, and he figured out Peter was Spider-Man. Don’t you think he would have helped Peter become… wait for it… a Superior Spider-Man? Like in the Marvel’s Spider-Man PS4 game? Octavius would have taken Peter under his wing, then Spider-Man would probably have looked something like this:
Even in The Amazing Spider-Man. Peter admired Dr. Connors, he read his book, he helped him with the cross-species genetics. So, let’s pretend Curt didn’t become the Lizard. Don’t you think the Tony/Peter relationship would play out with Connors and Peter? Then how would Spider-Man look? You guessed it, like this:
So the only difference between Tony and Norman, Otto, and Curt is that he didn’t become a super villain! So, Peter’s science genius idol in the MCU who figured out he was Spider-Man hooked him up with his best gear to help him become the best Spider-Man he can be. So what did he look like? Like this:
But now, with Tony gone, Peter is forced into the situation he was in the previous movies. Now he’s on his own, and you can tell even from his physicality alone in Far From Home that he's already grown into a fully functional and independent superhero. So what if he used Stark tech to make his suit? He used Oscorp tech to make his web-shooters in Amazing Spider-Man. And so what if he gets help from some Avengers from time to time? Did he not go to Harry in Spider-Man 3 to get help fighting Mega-Sandman and Venom? Spider-Man in the MCU is just as much Spider-Man as the other two franchises. The thing is he now lives in a world where the Avengers exist, so those circumstances alone are bound to change the fundamentals of his heroics. But at the end of the day, it’s indisputable that whether you like Tobey, Tom, or Andrew, they all have one thing in common. They are all Spider-Man.