Yay! Into the Spider-Verse Toys- Oh, Wait, Never Mind…

So, like any Marvel fan with a pulse, I am stoked for Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse. I've been reading Miles since issue #1, and Donald Glover himself gave me the backstory behind his conception (I promise, that article is coming!), so this movie is a dream come true for me. The only, the ONLY, thing that could pump me up even more is toys! Well, that's what I thought...

Okay, so let's take a look at 'ol Miles here:

 Mhmm, okay, very nice. I like the aesthetic, the 'spray painted' chest spider, I dig it, I dig it. Electro-shock web blast, always a nice touch, given his power set. Great articu- STOP! Hold the phones! Where are the knee joints? He can't bend his knees! Okay, I can live without the ball joints on the legs, but the little brother can't bend his knees! He's Spider-Man! Spider-Man's always in some kind of crouched pose or another! Like... bruh, Hasbro, who thought this was a good idea!? The figure is beautiful! Even if he doesn't have that polished Marvel Legends look, it works for a movie tie-in figure, but... you're gonna cut costs on the knee joints? Oh no, no, no, no... Let's look at mentor Spidey.

Great! He's top heavy, like in the trailers. The balled fist has that 'animated' look about it, I'm really digging the... He can't bend his knees either, can he? Dude, come on! What, am I supposed to sit him down and have him eat a burger all day? I don't care if that's what he does in the trailer, he also teaches Miles to be Spider-Man! And what's included in 'Does whatever a spider can'? Bending your knees! Oh, don't worry, Gwen has locked knee syndrome too.

And Prowler gets the same treatment:

Look, I get it. They're kid's toys. They're not for the hardcore Legends collectors. But even the kids deserve better than this! Just... why! The figures look great! It's just the knees... Well, I'll still probably pick 'em up, I want all the merch from this movie and MSRP is only $9.99, I guess I just won't be able to pose them a ton... heck, maybe I'll leave these guys on the cards. The box art is legit.

Well, those are the main figures, then there's this Collider play set:

Okay, them calling this a play set is a tad insulting. The 46", $100, Mega City Play Set I have, that's a play set. The Sky Rider and Alleyway play sets I've got from back in the day, those are play sets. Heck, that weak Spider-Man: Homecoming Vulture Attack Play Set barely makes the cut, but it's a play set. This is a 3D target game practice with Miles Morales. It's not a play set. Cool idea, looks like fun, but don't call it a play set.

There's some more kiddie stuff, like the Titan series and this cute little shock strike Miles Morales:

 Neat stuff, cool for the kids, but honestly, I'm more excited for this advent calendar-like Movie Countdown board:



It's filled with stickers and knick-knacks, and I've become quite the knick-knack collector. All in all, everything looks like great fun, but if we could just have the knees bend on the main figures, that'd be great! Make a mental note for next time Hasbro!